Bureau of Lost Socks

You didn't think the dog ate them, did you?

Just a drive-by warning: not one single solitary "lost sock" is really missing. The government has them all.

Perilous Seas

Dangerous H2O

See? I didn't dare mention the topic of this post in either the headline or the sub. It's just too dangerous. With the active involvement of a supposed private enterprise (no names, but its initials are H-O-R-M-E-L®), the government (with the passive aid of the Mass Media Podpeoples' Army) is suppressing any knowledge of the true history and makeup of... SPAM™. (Note the actual involvement of the government in this suppression via "™" and "®"!!!!!!)

There. I've already said too much. I may be "disappeared" for saying even this much.

Be afraind. Be very afraid.

The Universal Clown Conspiracy has been with us for a long, long time...

Clowns: killing us with their "Weapons of Peace"

You are right to fear clowns. Notice the perfidy of clowns: they seek to annihilate the human race via the poison of cigarette use, and call their cigarette promotion a promotion of "Weapons of Peace." Sure it is: "solitudinem faciunt et pacem appellant—they [would] make a desert and call it peace." [link]

Beware the clowns!

You better watch out!

OK, you know you've been bad

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Santa's twin brother, Satan Claus, is gearing up for another boom year leaving samples of the most concentrated form of evil known to man (fruitcake) in your stocking this year.

You know you've been bad. Now's the time to be afraid of paying the piper.